so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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