..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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