just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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