I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
