now i know why i became what i already was.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
