My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
