before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
