the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
