there's paper in my vomit.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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