you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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