Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
