If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
50% drunk capacity currently
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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