Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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