I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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