We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
