You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
