Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
