Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
