I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
