My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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