We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Found your dick twin last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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