I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
