a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
