Just cropdusted the office
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
