You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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