If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
