she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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