Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
