have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
so much tequila, so little girl.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
