ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If that was your dad, he is hot
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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