No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
