the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
