he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize