i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
