Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
