Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
