i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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