i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
