You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
