So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
