Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
