Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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