Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
