When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
These tits shall not be calmed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
