i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
