6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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