just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
