don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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