I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize