Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
