Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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