Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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