Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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