all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
