Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
