Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
