I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
