dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
