She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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