oh god the rape fog is back!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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