i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
