After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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