it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Of course I have a pirate flag
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
