.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
