two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
